why you sometimes wish the phone wouldn't ring...

I got a call from my mom's phone, and wasn't able to answer it. I checked my voicemail to hear my younger brother's voice cracking and he was crying... His first few words told it all

"Si lolo..."

He couldn't say the words, he just told me to call them back asap.

I can't believe he's gone. I had known that he hasn't been feeling well. But my mom told me after she flew back last month that he was feeling better already.

He was checked in to a hospital yesterday due to some chest pains, then roughly an hour he went through cardiac arrest. I don't remember the details, it doesn't matter.

I hate how when you first hear it, shock is all there is and you don't really feel anything. Then it hits you and it just overwhelms you.

A few things about my lolo...

It was my lolo who actually made me appreciate math. Maybe appreciate isn't the right word, but rather he made me understand how the thing works. I'd go visit them in Sta. Mesa and he'd spend an hour and a half helping me out and giving me tips on how to better understand the whole thing.

He was also the one who taught me how to play chess. It took me sometime to actually remember how to play. I recall asking him to go over how each piece would move. And when I started to really play, he never would say no to a game if I asked. He also gave me my first chess set. It was the chess set he used to play with before.

There are more but I'd rather leave it at that.

Good bye lolo. love you...